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Phyrbyrd's Nest

22nd June, 2011. 1:46 am.

So I've been trying to write a comic book. Well, I guess 'trying' is too strong a word, I've been kicking around ideas and developing characters in the hope that plot will happen. It's a superhero team story, and so I'm dealing with a number of my own pet peeves about the comic book industry.
Except sometimes, this is proving to be unexpectedly difficult. Particularly as far as race and gender are concerned.

My main character is female. So far, so good. She's a white, blond girl and he has an extremely destructive power that she has trouble controlling - she breathes fire every time she opens her mouth, so in order to curb this power, she spends most of the time silent. She was invented long before I started to worry about whether this sent a damaging message, and though I intend that she'll eventually gain control of her powers and be able to speak freely, this won't happen till a long way into the story. Another problematic thing is that there are several characters who have energy-conversion powers so she frequently finds herself in a position where she's providing power, rather than directly taking part in combat.

As for the rest of the team, at the moment we have three white males - two of whom used to be the main character's military superiors and the other is one of those energy-converter characters. They're not really important in this gripe. The fourth character is.
She's a trans latina, and she has earth and magma powers. I mainly put her in because I wanted to add more female members to the main cast, I feel there aren't enough trans people in comics and also my main team was really just too white. Also, she's one of the heaviest hitters on the team, and her arguments with one of the other team members - who is basically an abusive drunk to everyone - are interesting.
Except. Is this tokenism? Is it alright to include this character as a target for the team asshole's ire - and he does always use her transgenderism as a weapon, simply because he's trying to be deliberately hurtful - or is it worse to have her be the only one who isn't a target? It certainly wouldn't be a realistic portrayal of him, and my readers wouldn't get to see her magnificently holding her own in these arguments.
But this is not my problem with this character.

My problem is that she doesn't catch my imagination.
I have made many, many characters for this, both major and minor, and I've tried to write minorities and even out the gender balance, but the characters I can't write often get replaced with characters that catch and hold my imagination, and usually these characters are white.
It may be because I actually know very few minorities - in this English country town there are a lot of Muslims and a few Asians, but they keep to themselves for the most part and I have none in my own social circle. Besides, unless someone is a very good friend, it feels weird to suddenly start grilling people about their culture - people who know me would likely be very wary if I did that because somehow the rumour's started going round that I write furry porn.

I don't want my comic to be one of those teams with a token female and a token black guy, but the characters keep grouping together that way in my head. So should I write comics at all?

Current mood: aggravated.

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24th May, 2011. 5:07 am. Tumblin'

I now have a Tumblr. If you have one that you think I'd be interested in, holla at me and I'll follow you. Mine's at Hypotheticalwoman, and at the moment it's mostly squid, art embroidery and Homestuck, which explains why my Pesterchum handle would probably be emphaticEclectic.

Current mood: Tumblin'.

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22nd May, 2011. 11:13 pm.

My grandmother is visiting for a week, and today I went to my mother's place to spend the day with her. This turned out to be a gradually soul-destroying exercise, since both of them like pointing out, in an 'only for your own good' sort of way, the myriad ways in which I am other than they would like me to be.
Today, these included the fact that I'm lazy, I'm too thin, the stories that I make are 'nasty' (my grandmother is a Christian and dislikes fantasy stories, she would prefer that my stories were 'nice'), I spend too much time sitting up late talking to my internet friends, and I'm 'prickly'.
Well, yes. If you spend time poking my soft spots, I'm going to curl up and show spikes.

Mum does this all the time, and she also tells me off in public like I'm nine, not twenty-nine. She did this today, too, and my grandma backed her up when I called her on it, saying she was 'just trying to help me'. These are not the only people in my life who do this.
You know why I get so defensive when questioned about my geek life that none of them are really interested in and think is actually going to lead to my doom? Because I hate having to justify my lifestyle and defend my perfectly good friends to people who have no real interest in this anyway. AGAIN.

I may be feeling this rotten because I'm due, I don't know, it's not like I really keep count. I actually hope it's not, because I'm starting to be really sick of only ever feeling genuine sadness or anger when I'm about to come on. It'd be nice to feel like I have a right to my feelings for once and it not just be hormonal imbalance or something.
*sigh* Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be over it soon. Gonna curl up and go and pester someone for nasty RP or something.

Current mood: 'prickly'.

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22nd May, 2011. 4:03 am. Four in the morning

And still no Apocalypse. Not even any zombies.
I'm personally of the opinion that the Antichrist is stuck in an airport somewhere and the Horsemen have had their animals quarantined upon entry into the country...

Current mood: cheerful.

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19th May, 2011. 12:45 am. Milestone

In three hours I will be twenty-nine.
I'll be officially pushing thirty, and although I haven't reached that milestone just yet, I hae reached another.
The one where people have started making cracks about my age.
I personally am not worried about 'the big three-oh'. As far as I'm concerned, this is just on the way to becoming my grandmother. But it seems that other people think I should worry about it.

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10th May, 2011. 7:01 am. HoNk

====> Someone got me reading Homestuck.
====> I may be useless for the next few days.
====> Captchalogue this message to your sylladex.

Current mood: completely overwhelmed.

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2nd April, 2011. 8:07 pm. Look what I did!

So I have started a craft blog. One which you can find here: Given my previous record with blogs and journals, one might expect this to crash and burn after a month or so like all the others, but I actually have some hope for this one. This is mainly because it requires me to do nothing but gush about my current projects for hours at a time, with no paranoia that my readers are only listening to me to be polite.
So if you're interested in what I do with my time, go and see it! There are WIP shots and everything, and it's actually fairly pretty, considering the complete lack of experience in blog design that I have. (I may abandon the current template for the usual all-white background once I've made the sewn banner that I'm planning, though...)
Chocks away, and all that!

Current mood: ambitious.

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27th January, 2011. 7:32 am. PLEASE READ! Help needed.

This is cross posted from Y!Gallery, if anyone else on my list is a member there PLEASE HELP, we are facing losing this site. This is one of the only places I like for posting certain NSFW art and it's a nice community, they have worked hard to keep it going and make it a good place for people.

URGENT: 11th hour plea for sysadmins
Hi everyone,

y!Gallery has been being run for some time now without anyone actually in charge of the maintenance and upkeep of our server. In order to keep the site online and operational, we are in urgent need of at least one qualified system administrator that understands Debian Linux and md softraid and would be willing to monitor the server and address problems as they occur.

The site runs on a stack of lighttpd, PHP, and MySQL, and the chat service runs on jabberd14, but these are mostly stable at this point and do not really need much attention paid to them, so if you do not have much/any experience with these things, it does not really matter.

If we do not find a qualified system administrator capable of ensuring our server stays online and operational, y!Gallery will be forced to end operations and shut down on 14 February. If you are able to fill this role, please contact me privately via PM as soon as possible.

Thanks for your attention.

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26th December, 2010. 3:52 pm. I AM BOSS

I did it. All went well, dinner turned out great, silly games were fun, nobody argued - at least, no more than the cheerful banter stage.

I really am never doing this again, though.

Hope you all had a brilliant Christmas!

Current mood: accomplished.

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25th December, 2010. 12:31 pm. My First Christmas

Or rather, my first house's first Christmas. I am hosting for the first time, it is getting closer to zero hour and although I know that the house is clean and everything is pretty much under control (all the things I forgot are being brought by other people), there is still this sense of dread that something will go horribly wrong.
I am having my mother, my brother Boil, his girlfriend M and a friend, P, over, so far the guest list has changed five times, I have gone through a period of stress headaches and nightmares - that's LITERAL nightmares - over this but we're nearly through it.
M is vegetarian, something Boil neglected to tell me till halfway through the month, but she's bringing her own vegetarian dish. Otherwise I'm cooking honey roast ham and special secret roast veggies. If all goes right it will be gorgeous, and perfectly edible for P, who's lactose-intolerant (I also got a vegan christmas pudding and a carton of soya custard just for him).
Boil, Mum and P all have a tendency to get argumentative, so there are a number of silly party games planned - I really AM looking forward to that, I love stupid party games.

It's nearly time. Wish me luck. I am NEVER doing this again. You know, I might have a seizure from sheer relief when all this is over...

Current mood: tense.

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